"to all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love"

Thank You's

Wow what a week it has been. Well my birthday has come and pass, this years was unbelieveable. I'm going to give my thanks to God for everything He has given me, especially for my friends and family. He's really blessed me with people that really care, and i'm thankful for them (u guys are the best). .... man i don't even know where to begin on this week. It's been wonderful, and the people He's put in my life have been unbelieveable.. the words He's put in my heart this week are unbelieveable.. i got something to write about God's will.... i read it the other day it's cool... oh and the song by Ginny Owens - (If you want me to) (thanks to the special person who showed it to me.. u da bomb babe) is crazy good... it so talks about God's will and your life with Him.... i can see so clearly what He wants of me. I only hope that i can do what he wants me too... i'll blog more tommorow about it probably.

posted by SilQ @ 12:26 AM 0 Comments

Suicide and Salvation

I'm sorry if this is a subject that maybe affecting you right now.. it's affecting me and i want to discuss it...

I look at suicide as a selfish thing to do. I don't understand why people do it. I know that a lot of people do get these feelings ... maybe because i don't, i don't get it. The last few weeks i've been thinking about it because of things that have gone on recently (not to myself directly - but to some people close to me).. has brought up memories of what happened last year to my Goddaughters uncle.

If your saved and you choose to take your life... where do you go? Do you still have your salvation? or did you give it up?

See I don't have the right answer.. i don't even know if there is a right answer to this question. I see our lives in general as a gift from God. So if we take our lives which doesn't even belong to us anymore.. since it's something that God's given us. Don't we reject this gift? in ther process don't we reject God? and if we reject God well that's not cool right? and then u get into questions like..well your killing.. even though it's yourself... Thou shalt not Kill... it's not Thou shalt not Kill... other people.. it's Thou shalt not Kill. hmmmmmm.. what u think?

Another thing that scares me is that.. how come we don't recognize the hurt people be going through.. what if that's someone i know?? I saw Koonin three weeks before he took his life and he seemed happy and cool.. And it scares me,what about my close friends? as Christians... what about our brothers and sisters. I've lost too many people at 22 (23 soon) ... i don't know if it can be prevented.. i'm sure there is away, especially in the Christian community, because i think it is something that God doesn't agree with .. i think as brothers and sisters in Christ there must be something we can do. some way to recognize that it might happen.. because within the last year it's happened twice now.

Comments Comments use it... try to keep it at one comment posted once.. as em pointed out my thing doesn't reload so once you hit submit it's cool. Please give me your input it'd be cool. Peace, Luv and Happiness.

posted by SilQ @ 1:45 AM 0 Comments

"Made of Steel"

I can be anything,That you want me to be
A punching bag, A piece of string
That reminds you not to think

(prechorus)
They found the note down in your car
It's not your fault it gets this hard gets this hard....

(chorus)
hold your head high, don't look down
i'm by your side, i won't back down
you wanted a hero tonite.. well i'm not made of steel... i'm not made of steel
but your secret's safe with me

I can be anything, That you want me to be
A holy cross, Some sympathy
That reminds you how to bleed

(prechorus2)
They found the note down in your car
You climbed up here, to fall apart... to fall apart

(chorus)

(bridge)
They knock you down.... i'll pick you up.
They laugh at you ... i'll shut them up

(chorus)

(Raine Maida -OLP)

posted by SilQ @ 1:48 PM 0 Comments

"The Sorrow of Love"

The brawling of a sparrow in the eaves,
The brilliant moon and all the milky sky,
And all the famous harmony of leaves,
Had blotted out man's image and his cry.

A girl arose that had red mournful lips
And seemed the greatness of the world in tears,
Doomed like Odysseus and the labouring ships
And proud as a Priam murdered with his peers;

Arose, and on the instant clamourous eaves,
Aclimbing moon upon an empty sky,
And all the lamentation of the leaves,
Could but compose man's image and his cry.

(W.B. Yeats)

Just added a comments page...

posted by SilQ @ 12:59 AM 0 Comments

Surrender

officially something i gotta write about tonite.... the word has been coming out a lot and i thought i'd write about it.. so i opened up my devo bible ("The Inspirational Study Bible" NKJV) to look for something about it.. was gonna flip back to the concordance and boom there's an exerpt on the page that says... SURRENDER in big bold letters... let me start by stating the afore mentioned page:

"In our 'bootstrap' society, where you tough it up and do it on your own and take pride in being a rugged individualist, the one thing that seems to escape us is being before God on our knees - being before God, aware that we are helpless and allowing Him to assist us.
Can you say to Jesus, 'This burden is too heavy for me. I want you to be my co-worker. I want you to carry this burden with me. I cannot do it any longer.' He says if you will come to Him, if you allow Him to carry that burden with you, His promise is that you will recieve rest.
Surrendering our life to Christ means going to Him and saying, 'I'm yours; use me however you want to.' Once you've done this, you can begin to seek His will for your life.
Once we're honest with ourselves about who we are, then God can begin to remold our hears... in total surrender.
(prayer) Father, we invite your assistance and guidance and powerful indwelling, because we do not have the strength to be transformed into your likeness and not be conformed to this world. May we understand more of what it means to say 'It is well with my soul'."

Surrender... giving up everything to God. It's a major theme this summer for a lot of people in Ottawa i find.. I know for sure one person has it written on the banner of there cel phone as a reminder.

The last few weeks have been a struggle with me... i guess i've been drifting from God a lot and not listening to what He wants from me. I was thinking maybe it's just cuz i was sick for awhile and then maybe it was something like i'm just "blah" because it's been 5 years since Del passed.. and a year since Lawrence (flip)...(R.I.P. all y'all g'zus4eva). maybe it's cuz of all the things that happened to me last summer with Laeth and i'm just reminded .. maybe it's just everything.

And then it struck me in a conversation with someone the other night.. when we made a decision to surrender ourselves and how we feel about each other to God rather than to our own desires. I'm not giving God everything .. i've lost that focus and i've tripped slipped up.. I'm only giving Him props when i'm happy or things are going good.. when it should be like in that song.."Praise you when i'm laughing, praise you when i'm grieving, praise you every season of my soul.". I a'int even taking the time to chill with Him (ie. devotions) and even though i'm not worthy to be in His presence all the time.. i'm not taking the grace and mercy he's given me. The Christian life is not an easy life.. It's not all pretty flowers and green meadows.

Acts 20-22-24 "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only iI may finish the task the Lord jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace" (NIV)

Matthew 16:24 "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (NIV)

Check it yo... Surrender... "All to Jesus i surrender... i surrender all".

*on a side note i didn't get into english..but it's a'ight i'm givin' mad love to God that i didn't get kicked out of school this term (tha's been heavy on my heart since April). Thanks dude! a'ight Peace and Luv y'all!

posted by SilQ @ 2:53 AM 0 Comments

(this is from three weeks ago.. i just didn't finish and post it)
So this blogging thing a'int going as great as i thought it would when i initially stared it. Sorry, i get lazy.

"Life I wonder... will it take me under? ... never that"Nas

On to the blog... this one's kinda for a friend, who's tryin' really hard to vibe with God...(kinda had some hurdles) and for myself too.. and probably others.

Rubin "Hurricane" Carter dude was a boxer, Denzel played him in a movie, yo Bob Dylan even wrote a song about him. His stories like this, he was a boxer who got thrown in jail for 19 years on charges of murder that weren't true. Guy spent 19 years in jail for something he didn't do. During that time there were a group of people who believed in his innocence... and attempted to challenge the legal system, but they constantly met dissapointment. Think how Carter must have felt, you got this little bit of hope and constantly gettting dashed... eventually he wrote to those who sought to free him, "Please find it in you hearts not to weaken me with your love". He'd gotten to the point where he thought i'm stuck in this prison now, i'm never gonna get out.. so fine, i'm gonna toughen myself up to make it through.. i gotta reject the people who showing me love freely, cuz it's gonna make me weak. Carter decided that the love that was being shown to him would somehow make him weaker.

This story was in my devo's today, it made me think a lot about stuff... like when i wasn't with God, it was kinda like 'man how can God want someone like me?' i'd kinda built this prison around me and was kinda looking for a way out and everytime i'd get close something would happen and the hope that i'd be able to get out of it, was dashed and i'd be at square one. So i got to the point where i just said .. 'God i don't want your love, cuz i'm stuck here.. i keep getting setbacks and it's just hurting me more... your love is hurting me.' See i don't know if i'm the only one who's felt this way but i'm sure others have. Soooo what am i saying, well my devo's today were on 2 Corinthians 5:16-6:2.

In 2 Corinthian's 6:1 kinda stuck out for me.. New King James Version "We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain." In Patrick Morley's book "Coming back to God" he says about this passage "The Christian system is rooted in God's love for you. If you proceed, He'll weaken you with his love, lovingly prying your hands off the system that's failing you" The concept of doing something that will make you weaker sounds crazy, but it's something that as Christians we must really submit too. God makes us weaker to humble us, God tears us down to rebuild us. The thing is it's soooooo easy to forget what our goal is, to become a people of integrity, when everything in our lives seem to crash down around us, i was feeling a lot like that since the end of April, 'specially with school and what not getting kinda messed up. It's really hard to keep going when everything don't seems to be right, we know that we gotta keep going but it's so hard that we feel like giving up, hanging up our boots. Max Lucado's one of my favourite Christian writers, in his book "In the Eye of the Storm" he offers encouragement:

'It's not easy for us to see a city we've never seen, either, especially when the road is bumpy... the hour is late... and companions are wanting to cancel the trip and ake up residence in a motel. It's not easy to fix our eyes on what is unseen. But it is necessary...

For some of you, the journey has been long. Very long and stormy. In no way do I wish to minimize the difficulties that you have had to face along the way...

And you are tired

It's hard for you to see the City in the midst of the storms. The desire to pull over the side of the road and get out entices you. You want to go on, but some days the road seems so long.

Let me encourage you... It's worth it'

posted by SilQ @ 1:03 AM 0 Comments