"to all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love"

Refiner's Fire

So it's been awhile since i blogged. not used to it quite yet.

I remember i think it was the first week of January, something that Pastor Dan from OCAC was talking about.

Refiner's Fire. It was a challenge he gave the congregation. I guess i've been really wondering what's going on in my life right now... but i think i've been missing the picture. I've been kinda worried about me..me...me lately rather than what God's purpose is for me.

My hearts one desire. Around the same time in January i decided what i want in my life was to do what God wants me to do. I was so excited and totally "on fire", somewhere between then and now...the fire was doused, but the promise i made to God still remains in my heart. I do want to do what God wants me to do... i sometimes wonder why i can't hear Him, maybe it's just i a'int listening..or i don't want to hear what He has for me.

Is to be Holy.This is so hard. Man this is crazy hard. I'm not gonna be hypocritcal and say i meet this criteria. I think i struggle more with this than anything. Some of the guys are taking a big step with this, we doing a book called "Every Man's Battle" and it deals with our sexual integrity. The book is an eye opener for me... a didn't think i was really bad with stuff... until i read it, how a little comment that can come from my mouth can snowball into something bigger. (Psalm 19:14) May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. This is crazy challenge and we feeling the battle going on already, though it might start of suttle, one thing builds onto another and so on.. this summer is gonna be rough cuz with this book we battling on not just a intellectual/emotional plane, but we stepping into a spiritual battle... i really hope were ready. The swears have gotta go as well.

Set apart for you my Lord To be set apart, what defines you as a Christian? What makes you different from everyone else? My school friends challenged me with this at the beginning of the year. Little things that caught me off guard. The first incident occured at 2am at the Westin Hotel's restaurant with my friends Denis and Sue (before they were going out), they asked me about why i was a Christian and i was honestly caught off guard. Sue even went as far to say that she "didn't see me as one...because of the way i acted". This scared me ... a lot! Denis was totally trying to rip my belief... not because he doesn't believe in it but rather he wanted to know how serious i was about my faith and how much i had looked into it (he grew up in a Catholic school and his purpose throughout was to destroy his religion teacher's faith)... he challenged me a lot, i came out ok..but i could have come out a lot better. The second incident happened in Toronto, thanksgiving weekend. We were talking and i mentioned how Cheung and I had seen someone lying on the street in Chinatown the previous May, apparantly he had been beaten up (told because we drove by the corner). Rather than do anything Cheung and I sat there and timed how long it would take the police to get there... we didn't want to go because we didn't want to get ivolved. Well Simon suddenly jumped in and said "What kinda Christian are you?" in which the whole car jumped on my back. I've learned a lot about being "set apart" from the rest of society, by being a Christian. I was fortunate that God put Maria's friendship in my life and that just seeing the way she lives her life, full throttle for God... was something i really learned and benifited for. (PLS PRAY FOR HER SHE'S ON A MISSIONS TRIP FOR 2MONTHS AND SHE LEFT TODAY.. Miss ya MIA!).

I choose to be Holy, set apart for you my Master
ready to do Your will
God's will, if tha's what u want...u can't hide from it ... remember that dude Jonah he wanted to do right with God but he didn't like where God wanted to send Him. In the last year i realized that no matter what... if your heart is prepared to do God's will, He'll take you where He wants you..you might not want to go but He'll take you there if you really want to do what He wants... it might take three days in a rather large fish though.

Purify my heart, let me be as gold, and precious silver
Purify my heart, let me be as gold, pure gold.
Which brings me back to what Pastor Dan had to say. I think i've started to take the steps towards this... to really give up my life for God. And i've noticed other people have too. Well Pastor Dan said that this walk was not gonna be easy, we are going to be put through the fire.. and it's gonna hurt.. physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and it's probably, no, it is gonna reach every aspect of our lives, from family to work to school to relationships with people. But if we willing to go through this fire were gonna come out as something real.. something that is like a precious metal. So i wanna challenge whoever reads this.. to take this walk, know that it will be difficult... but the reward in the end is well worth it. And for those who already have, i really want you guys to stay strong, don't give up. I feel the heaviness about me right now, and i'm struggling .. literally clawing for air sometimes. Hang on to God, through prayer... support each other.. it's really easy to let your own negative feelings for someone really hinder your effectiveness for God. You really gotta put it aside and help each other... if i have stepped on anybody's toes btw i am sorry. I really do need all the support i can get from everyone, and i really hope i can give you guys the same support. Let's be like Timothy, i like how Paul explains what kind of person Timothy is in Phillipians... (Phillipians 2:19-22) I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that i also may be cheered when i receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel. Man verse 21 jumps out at me...kinda scary when you read it.... but i'm gonna try and be like Timothy, i'm gonna look out for the interests of those who take the challenge and decide that they wanna come out as "Gold" ... that they wanna live there life FOR Christ, cuz that's what i'm going to do.

Purify my heart, Cleanse me from within and make me holy
Purify my heart, cleanse me from my sin, deep within

Wow this is a long blog. I guess i've had a lot on my mind and heart. Some of you probably thinking... no way "Silq" aka Aaron wrote this...someone must have transplanted his brain or something. But it's my "big ol' dumbo eared" self talking. I hope maybe this is an encouragement to some of my friends (you guys know who you are) who are struggling. I'm praying for you guys/gals, i love you as brothers/sisters and we'll get through whatever comes our way cuz we got God and Jesus Rocks!

REFINERS FIRE. ... Baby!

posted by SilQ @ 2:23 AM